Couch Pumpkin: Sofa Adventures
News and reviews for the big and small screens…where potatoes fear to tread.

Breakin’ Up is So Very Hard to Do!


Another month, another unfortunate break-up. It’s always me doing the dumping – ‘it’s not me, it’s you’ – but of course I have to wonder if it is me.

Am I just growing out of all my shows?

But then I remember the telly addict’s conundrum. Faced with a fabulous new show, we are caught between the devil (i.e. an axe happy executive) and the deep blue sea (from which a toothsome shark which surely emerge during the bloated 3rd/4th season). It is the latter which I am struggling with at the moment. When shows limp on longer than they should, the show-runner tends to panic. How to keep things fresh? Those damn nerds have figured out all my plotlines! Quick! Throw a pigeon in there or something! Or a rape storyline! People want WHO to be a couple? Pfft, delete all their scenes together. That character is so popular, it’s making me feel insecure! Kill him! KILL THEM ALL! Mooohahahahahaha

Anyway, you get the picture. Sadly, the latest casualty is the once-brilliant Being Human. See under the cut for details, plus some info on some of my other televisual exes (spoilers abound!)

Being Human

Ach, this is a painful one. I loved this show – it was, and I guess still is, creative, funny and dark all at the same time. But when Whithouse and their team wrote themselves into a corner during s3 and ended the series in the worst possible way by destroying the very foundation of the show (the redemptive power of friendship) …I knew I would approach s4 with caution. And I was right to. Without Turner or Tovey, the show is not the same – both provided an anchoring sense of balance. Critchlow’s Annie is a wonderful character but has been woefully underdeveloped for three seeries and is too lightweight to hold things together. Plus they have gone for a tonal shift by introducing a post-apocalyptic strand (which ordinarily I would be ALL OVER) – reminiscent of Dollhouse in some ways. I will probably watch the rest of the series, but my heart will not be in it.

How long we lasted: 3 series

What caused the split: M/A romance being criminally underwritten, Mitchell’s death at the hands of George, Nina’s offscreen death, George being completely broken and then killed…


Not sure I’ll ever be over this one. We’re not so much broken up as ‘on a break’…but I am still really mad with Ron Moore…

How long we lasted: All the way

What caused the split: I managed to delude myself for most of series 4 (such is the strength of infatuation) but, let’s be honest, Kara’s death and the random choice of Tigh as a cylon were things the show never recovered from. The Writers’ Strike is a convenient proxy for the real culprit: lack of authorial control.


It is a truth universally acknowledged that any Ryan Murphy show will generally tank quicker than the Titanic (sometimes even during the first series, vis American Horror Story, which I loved btw but that’s for another post…). But Glee has gone above and beyond. Poor Ryan. I guess he never expected Glee to last beyond the first 9 eps, let alone garner a massive audience of morons and eight-year-olds. Thus, what started as the acerbic, adult answer to High School Musical became…High School Musical.

How long we lasted: 1.5 series.

What caused the split: Any and all themed episodes, overabundance of ‘special issues’ and the Mercedes/tater tot storyline (still not sure what a tater tot is tbh…).

True Blood

I didn’t mean for this to happen. I mean, I knew there were problems but I thought we could work through it. I was almost enjoying it again. And then we sort of…lost contact…and I found I didn’t miss True Blood at all.

How long we lasted: 3.5 series

What caused the split: So many reasons! Tara’s abduction and rape. Jason’s abduction and rape. Eric eating Claudine and Sookie not even batting an eyelid (he’s hot but he’s not THAT hot, geez). Bill Compton in general. I blame the Twimoms!


Eh, I guess Overman had the same problem as Whithouse – what to do when a castmember quits IRL. But for me the rot had set in about halfway through s2, when all sense of previous character development was abandoned. So s3 was just the nail in the coffin.

How long we lasted: 2.5 series

What caused the split: Nathan going from complex, lovable douchebag to…douchebag, Rudy being a ctrl+f replacement for Nathan, Rudy sexually assaulting Curtis (ugh what is it with these freaking rape storylines in my shows), everyone having crap powers, the entire, wildly ooc Simon/Alisha story arc.

There are, of course, a few more notable break-ups in my past…what about you?


2 Responses to “Breakin’ Up is So Very Hard to Do!”

  1. My breakups mirror many of yours! Funnily enough, the newest episode of ‘Being Human’ (and preview of next week) had given me hope enough to keep trying. The Annie/Mitchell relationship from last series neeeearly had me give up.

    I’m on the fence about ‘Misfits’. I was frustrated with the show’s coyness about calling a spade a spade over rape plots, frustrated with Alisha’s newfound role as woman-about-to-be-fridged and inevitable fridging… yeah, just typing this is talking me even further out of ‘Misfits’.

    A big one in my past is ‘Scrubs’. I used to love that show to the point I bought the first three series on DVD and watched them repeatedly — and then something just flipped and now I genuinely cannot stand the thought of it. I felt like the success of the series went to the heads of all the cast and crew, and they went from witty, original humour to smug, tedious and self-congratulatory in a heartbeat. ‘Scrubs’ and I were done.

    ‘Scrubs’ is my bang break-up and ‘Boardwalk Empire’ is my whimper. 1.5 series in I just stopped bothering to watch the episodes and only read episode recaps. By the end, I was only reading the past page of episode recaps to get the gist of what had happened. I won’t bother with another series at all.

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